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This helped me to improve my conversation with Americans in the United States of America.
* I don’t open conversation (on telephone) with a “Hello” but with a “Hi”
* The telephone is never “engaged”, it’s always “busy”.
* I don’t “disconnect” a phone, I simply “hang-up”.
* I never “mess-up” things, I only “screw them up”.
* I never have a “residence” tel. no., I have a “home” no.
* I don’t stop at the “signals”, but halt at the “lights”.
* I don’t “accelerate”, I “step on the gas”.
* My tire (tyre) never “punctures”, I may have a “flat”.
* The trains have “coaches” or “bogies’ no more but “carriages” or “boxes”.
* There are no “petrol pumps”, but “gas stations”.
* I no longer meet a “wonderful” person, I meet a “cool” guy
* I don’t pull the switch down to light a bulb, rather flick it up.
* I don’t “turn on the heat”, I “turn on the juice”.
* There’s no “Business Area” only “business districts”, and no “districts” but “counties”.
* No one stays “a stone’s throw away”, might be “a few blocks away”.
* There’s no “Town Side”, it’s “Down Town”.
* In restaurants I no longer ask for a “bill” and pay by “cheque”, rather ask for a “check” and pay with (Dollar) “bill”s.
* There are no “soft drinks”, only “sodas”.(“pop” in Minnesota)
* Life’s no longer “miserable” it “stinks”.
* I don’t have a “great” time, I have a “ball” or balls].
* I don’t “sweat it out”, I “work U’r butt off”.
* Never “post” a letter, always “mail” it and “glue” the stamps, don’t “stick” them.
* I no longer live in “flats” or “blocks”, find an “apartment”.
* I no longer “like” something, I “appreciate” it.
* “#” is not “hash”, it’s “pound”.
* I are not “deaf”, I have “impaired hearing”.
* I are not “lunatic”, I are just “mentally challenged”.
* I do not “Give an Exam”, I “Take” it.
* I am not “disgusting”, I am “sick”.
* I can’t get “surprised”, I get “zapped”.
* I don’t “schedule” a meeting, I “skejule” it.
* I never “joke”, I just “kid”.
* I never “increase” the pressure, I always “crank” it up.
* I never ask for a pencil rubber, I ask for an eraser.
* I don’t try to find a lift, I find an elevator.
* I no more ask for a route but for a “RAUT”
* I don’t ask somebody “How r u ?”, I say “What’s up dude?”
* I never go to see a game I go to watch a game.
* If I see “World” champions (or Series), read “USA” champions (or Series).
* There’s no “zero” but “oh”, no “Z” but “zee”.
* There’s no FULL STOP after a statement, there’s a PERIOD
* If someone gets angry at me, I get “flamed”.
In short I don’t speak English, I speak American. 
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.
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Sardar 100 watt bulb par baap ka naam likh raha tha.
Baap ne puchha “kya kar rahe ho?”
Sardar : baap ka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
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PAPAD aur JAPAD mein kya farak hai.
Khake dekho pata chal jayega.
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Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night.
DR: take this tablet you will be ok.
Sardar: Can I take tommorrow, tonight is final game
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Munna bhai: agar bina daton ka kuta kate to kya karna chahiye?
Circuit: simple, bina sui ke injection lena chahiye.
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Bikhari: 50 paise de de maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai.
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
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Boy: mom, aaj mera dost ghar aa raha hai….ghar ke sab khilone chhupa de.
Mom: tera dost chor hai kya?
Boy: nahin, woh apne khilone pahechan lega.
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In aptitude test…River Kaveri is in which state?
Sardar: liquid state.
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Ek aadmi telescope se asman dekh raha tha…
Ek sardar dhyan se use dekh rah tha….
Tabhi ek tara tuta..Sardar chillaya…
Wah boss kya nishana lagaya….
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One employee asked another: How long have you been working here?
Answer: Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.
Enjoy.
Everybody….there is this site that lets you vote on people’s turbans. I added our own Medavo representative to it….Ashish 
Go to http://www.ratemyturban.com/index.php?q=quickrate/344 and give Ashish a 10 out of 10 rating!! Lets get our man Ashish in the Super Turbans list!!
Queen Elizabeth, Bush & Musharraf died & went straight
to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said “I miss England, I want to call
England and
see How everybody is doing there.
She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she
asked “Well,
devil How much do I owe you????
The devil says “Five million dollars”
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her
chair.
Bush was soo jealous, he starts screaming,
“My turn! I wanna call the United States, I want to
see how
everybody is doing there too”
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he
asked “Well,
devil How much do I owe you????
The devil says “Ten million dollars”
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and
went to sit
back on His chair.
Musharraf was even more jealous & starts screaming,
“I want to call Pakistan too, I wanna talk to the
ministers, to
the deputy, I ! wanna Talk to everybody of my
Parliment”…..
He called Pakistan and he talked for about twenty
hours, he talked
&Talked & talked, then he asked “Well, devil how much
do I owe
you????
The devil says “Twenty dollars”.
Musharraf is stunned & says “Twenty dollars??? Only
??”
The devil says “Well if you make a call from one hell
to another
hell, it’s local”.
With modern science moving the productive child bearing years of a woman to well over 75 years is came to pass that a 65-year-old woman finally gave birth to a baby boy for the first time.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.
”May we see the new baby?” one asked.
“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit me for awhile first.”
Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”
“No, not yet,” said the mother.
After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”
“No, not yet,” replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the baby?”
“WHEN HE CRIES!” she told them.
“WHEN HE CRIES?” they demanded to know why.
“Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?”
“BECAUSE, I forgot where I put him!”
So Nimit and I were chatting the other day. We were talking about how everyone lives so far away from each other now because of their jobs and school and such and how long it’d been since we had gone home. Nimit came up with a brilliant idea. We decided that we all need to buy a big building and all live in it together. It would be like our own little community or city that we would never have to leave! We would have doctors, engineers, lawyers, dentists, businessmen, etc. It would be everything we need right there! With Khayti there too, we would even have our own movie industry 
What do you guys think of that idea? A big medavo community of our own!
Check out these funny videos. They are hilarious.
funny video1
funny video2
Paras.
Twenty Great One Liners:
1. Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.
2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.
3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried – but they wanted cash.
5. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new cloths.
6. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
7. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.
8. You can’t buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.
9. True friends stab you in the front.
10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.
11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.
12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.
13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.
14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.
15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.
16. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.
17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.
18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.
19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.
20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address book.
These are the laws of the natural universe…
Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch.
Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat
tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will
start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are
with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last.
Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the
floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet
or rug.
Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law:
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
Oliver’s Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
nRIs: Poor Exchange Rates eating into your remittances?
