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During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how do
You determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
‘Well,’ said the Director, ‘we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.’
‘Oh, I understand,’ I said. ‘A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.’
‘No.’ said the Director, ‘A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?’
Apparently, the American Medical Association has weighed in on the new
economic stimulus package..
The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to
make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the
Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled,
“Over my dead body!” while the Pediatricians said, ‘Oh, Grow up!’
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the
Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic
Surgeons said, “This puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were
pissed off at the whole idea.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the
Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
In the ‘end’, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to
the Congress in Washington .
Don’t let this happen to you…vote =)
An Israeli doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.’
A German doctor says ‘That is nothing, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.
A Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’
The Texas doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Texas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work.
1. Thinking of an algorithmic solution to my problem…
2. Damn!!! m sleepy…
3. See, what studies has done to me.. Studies beat the hell out of me!!! why did i ever take engineering..
haha… I am doing very well and my studies are also going great.. I just have one more final to go on 8th.
Hope all of you are doing good…
Paras
When was the last time you laughed like you have never laughed before. I am amazed by how kids do not need a reason to laugh or cry. How self expressive they are? Want to give it a try to go back to age 5? Enjoy.
An interview of a candidate.
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER’S NAME ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M P. SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE….?
OFFICER : MP !!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..?
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED
This story happened a few days ago in Ekaterinburg city, in Ural region in Russia. One man decided to add some money to his bank account via ATM. He went to the nearest one and put 2,000 roubles (around $74). The ATM took the money and returned him a slip. Here is the photo of that slip:
The amount on the slip was 2,006,699,00 RUR (around $7,430,000). He was astonished, he has got another slip – and still the amount was the same. So he decided to go the bank and tell them about the mistake ATM made.
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