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Dealing with closed minded people

Posted by Nimit December 22nd, 2006

As Jains/Vegetarians/non-drinkers/etc we often have to deal with people who dont understand us or refuse to. The insight steve pavlina offers on this is enlightening…our annoyance with “close-minded” people actually comes from our own fears. This is Anekantvad kind of thinking! Read on…

How can you intelligently deal with people who are close-minded, totally stubborn in their beliefs and unreceptive to new ideas? Perhaps you feel certain you’re right and they’re wrong, but you can’t seem to convince them to see things your way. And maybe you are in fact right, but that doesn’t prevent the other person from resorting to irrational arguments to keep from agreeing with you. What can you do in such situations?

I’d like you to consider this challenge from an angle you may not have considered.

When you encounter people who are very close-minded, you’ll often find yourself becoming resistant to the other person’s position. You think the problem lies with the other person, but if you define it that way, you’ll beat your head against the wall in frustration. The real source of your frustration is your own resistance, not the other person.

The lesson in such situations is to learn unconditional acceptance, which comes about when you begin asking questions like: Why do I feel such resistance towards close-minded people? Why do I feel the need to convince them of anything? Why do I have such a strong need to be right? What part of me is experiencing this resistance? Is it possible there’s any shred of truth in the other person’s position?

As you explore these questions, you’ll begin to uncover the part of yourself that is resisting what the other person represents to you. Then you can consciously decide if you wish to continue holding onto that resistance or let it go. The more you resist about the world, the more time you’ll spend defending your position.

Resistance comes from your ego. When your ego takes ownership of your ideas, it treats challenges to your ideas as a personal challenge, hence the need to defend yourself as if being attacked. But if you keep your ideas separate from your ego, you’ll feel no surge of resistance or defensiveness because there won’t be any attachment.

from Steve Pavlina’s article: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/11/dealing-with-close-mindedness/

Entry Filed under: Insightful