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These are the laws of the natural universe…

Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to
itch.

Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Telephone:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat
tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will
start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem:
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are
with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle
arrive last.

Law of Coffee:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask
you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have
adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on the
floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet
or rug.

Law of Location:
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law:
If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

Oliver’s Law:
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
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